My Story

I Built This Because I Needed It First

There's a version of success that looks exactly right from the outside and quietly costs a man everything on the inside. I know, because I lived it.

For two decades, my life looked like a blueprint: Fortune 500 leadership in digital media, multimillion-dollar teams, President's Club honors. Behind the titles was a man who looked confident but constantly questioned himself.

I avoided difficult conversations.
I said yes when I meant no.
I measured my worth by other people's approval.
I overthought every important decision.

Whenever the pressure rose, I quietly left myself.

So I did what driven men do: I worked harder at fixing it. A decade of self-help books, seminars and Tony Robbins. I'd make progress, then end up right back where I started. I thought I had a confidence problem, then a discipline problem, then a knowledge problem. None of those were true.

Meanwhile, life wasn't waiting. My friendships felt shallow, my career lacked direction, and by 40 my wife and I weren't even sharing a room.

Then one night I found Dr. Robert Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy. It wasn't just a book. It was a mirror. Somewhere along the way I'd decided I wasn't enough, and that the only way to be loved was to give everything and ask for nothing. Underneath it all was an old abandonment wound, and a nervous system that had learned being accepted was safer than being authentic.

Everything changed the day I stopped asking, “What's wrong with me?” and started asking, “Where did I leave myself?”

For the next nine years, I did the work: regulating a nervous system that had lived in survival mode, turning toward the anger and needs I'd hidden, and letting go of covert contracts and approval-seeking.

It got worse before it got better. Shortly after I started, my wife and I separated. The turning point was the day I started telling the truth: saying no when I meant no, telling her when I was hurt, believing my needs deserved to be met. Today we've been married 27 years, and the marriage I nearly lost is the honest, connected partnership I had stopped believing was possible.

That work became the Unshakable Man Method™, built on three pillars: Nervous System Regulation, Shadow Work and Nice Guy Recovery. What took me nearly a decade to untangle, I now guide men through in months.

Do the old instincts still creep in? Of course. This work isn't about perfection. It's about catching the storm before it takes you.

If I can do it, so can you.

Today I coach full-time, and I was trusted by Dr. Robert Glover to train his certified coaches. The work I care about most is with men who are done performing and ready to become.